February 8th, 2017
Affirmation: I am at peace with myself.
Word of the Day: troglodyte (n):
When you are not with close friends,
you are not in the presence.
It is sad to leave the people you travel with.
How much moreso those who remind you of God.
Hurry back to the ones protecting you.
On every trip, have only one objective,
to meet those who are friends
inside the presence.
If you stay home, keep the same purpose,
to meet the innermost presence
as it lives in people.
Be a pilgrim to the kaaba inside a human being,
and Mecca will rise into view on its own.
___
Who Am I?
Don't worry - this post is not going to address the question of selfhood or personhood from a weighty, serious, or philosophical perspective. So you can breathe easy ;-)
We've all undoubtedly heard about, read about, and experienced the ways in which our social circles and the company we keep affect who we are and who we grow to be profoundly. Businessman Jim Rohn went as far as to say that we are the "average of the five people [we] spend the most time with."
While I doubt the extremity of that statement, I think the principle holds true: we are deeply - and for better or for worse - shaped by our surroundings, including the people who surround us. Their words, their actions, their preferences, and their behavior impact us all in different degrees.
In my experience, I've been so thoroughly affected by other people in the past that I've given up a part of my Self and lost a sense of my Self due to the internal and external pressures I felt around certain individuals.
This is not to say that others' influence is all bad, however. I've certainly been elevated and inspired by people as well as deepened my understanding and appreciation of love through various relationships.
I just came across a recent study that suggests that the places that we live in shape us in much the same way that people do. The study revealed that you really are different in when you live in California as opposed to New York or in Colorado as opposed to Mississippi. I can't say that this study shocked me, but it did make me pause to consider my "malleability" (not to mention my geographical aspirations).
As an HSP (highly sensitive person) and as someone who is still working on setting better boundaries, I know that this phenomenon probably hits me harder than most. In addition to being somewhat easily influenced by people, I also tend to be somewhat of a people-pleaser and conformist, wanting to fit in and be liked and accepted.
I often get so caught up in this that I forget where I end and where those around me begin. That is to say, what part of the way I think, talk, and behave are actually ME?
As a way to re-group and re-center in my Self, I decided to write a list of 10 (very random) things that I know to be true of me that aren't necessarily popular or characteristic of those around me:
1. I don't like TV shows, but I love movies. Sure, I've seen many TV shows, but they were more out of a sense of obligation, peer pressure, wanting to be in the know, etc. Similarly, I'm not a fan of reality TV but I do like watching the news sometimes.
2. I like brownies but I do not like cake. Especially not the grainy or crumbly or dry kinds.
3. I don't like country music.
4. I don't like the wind. It doesn't matter whether I am hot or cold or whether the wind is hot or cold. I simply do not like the feeling of it on my skin or hair or clothes. It is activating in a bad way.
5. Not a fan of video games. Or wine. Or following sports. Even though I occasionally partake in all 3. (I'm also not sure why I grouped those 3 together).
6. I often think in metaphors. It helps me make sense of my world.
7. I love alliteration.
8. I still listen to the radio. Not satellite radio or podcasts, but old-fashioned FM radio.
9. I feel naked without my watch on. It doesn't matter if there is a clock on the wall or I have my phone with me - I still need my watch!
10. I often think of song lyrics that would correspond perfectly to certain situations when I'm in them and I sometimes have the urge to break out in song even though I cannot hold a tune for the life of me. I also write poetry in my head all the time that I promptly forget.
... now that I started this list, I feel like I could keep on going forever!
I invite you to create your own 10 things (or more!) list.
And, as always, please do share. I would love to hear about what makes you you!
Affirmation: I am at peace with myself.
Word of the Day: troglodyte (n):
1. a person of
degraded, primitive, or brutal character.
2. a prehistoric
cave dweller.
3. a person living
in seclusion.
A Pilgrimage to a Person
When you are not with close friends,
you are not in the presence.
It is sad to leave the people you travel with.
How much moreso those who remind you of God.
Hurry back to the ones protecting you.
On every trip, have only one objective,
to meet those who are friends
inside the presence.
If you stay home, keep the same purpose,
to meet the innermost presence
as it lives in people.
Be a pilgrim to the kaaba inside a human being,
and Mecca will rise into view on its own.
___
Who Am I?
Don't worry - this post is not going to address the question of selfhood or personhood from a weighty, serious, or philosophical perspective. So you can breathe easy ;-)
We've all undoubtedly heard about, read about, and experienced the ways in which our social circles and the company we keep affect who we are and who we grow to be profoundly. Businessman Jim Rohn went as far as to say that we are the "average of the five people [we] spend the most time with."
While I doubt the extremity of that statement, I think the principle holds true: we are deeply - and for better or for worse - shaped by our surroundings, including the people who surround us. Their words, their actions, their preferences, and their behavior impact us all in different degrees.
In my experience, I've been so thoroughly affected by other people in the past that I've given up a part of my Self and lost a sense of my Self due to the internal and external pressures I felt around certain individuals.
This is not to say that others' influence is all bad, however. I've certainly been elevated and inspired by people as well as deepened my understanding and appreciation of love through various relationships.
I just came across a recent study that suggests that the places that we live in shape us in much the same way that people do. The study revealed that you really are different in when you live in California as opposed to New York or in Colorado as opposed to Mississippi. I can't say that this study shocked me, but it did make me pause to consider my "malleability" (not to mention my geographical aspirations).
As an HSP (highly sensitive person) and as someone who is still working on setting better boundaries, I know that this phenomenon probably hits me harder than most. In addition to being somewhat easily influenced by people, I also tend to be somewhat of a people-pleaser and conformist, wanting to fit in and be liked and accepted.
I often get so caught up in this that I forget where I end and where those around me begin. That is to say, what part of the way I think, talk, and behave are actually ME?
As a way to re-group and re-center in my Self, I decided to write a list of 10 (very random) things that I know to be true of me that aren't necessarily popular or characteristic of those around me:
1. I don't like TV shows, but I love movies. Sure, I've seen many TV shows, but they were more out of a sense of obligation, peer pressure, wanting to be in the know, etc. Similarly, I'm not a fan of reality TV but I do like watching the news sometimes.
2. I like brownies but I do not like cake. Especially not the grainy or crumbly or dry kinds.
3. I don't like country music.
4. I don't like the wind. It doesn't matter whether I am hot or cold or whether the wind is hot or cold. I simply do not like the feeling of it on my skin or hair or clothes. It is activating in a bad way.
5. Not a fan of video games. Or wine. Or following sports. Even though I occasionally partake in all 3. (I'm also not sure why I grouped those 3 together).
6. I often think in metaphors. It helps me make sense of my world.
7. I love alliteration.
8. I still listen to the radio. Not satellite radio or podcasts, but old-fashioned FM radio.
9. I feel naked without my watch on. It doesn't matter if there is a clock on the wall or I have my phone with me - I still need my watch!
10. I often think of song lyrics that would correspond perfectly to certain situations when I'm in them and I sometimes have the urge to break out in song even though I cannot hold a tune for the life of me. I also write poetry in my head all the time that I promptly forget.
... now that I started this list, I feel like I could keep on going forever!
I invite you to create your own 10 things (or more!) list.
And, as always, please do share. I would love to hear about what makes you you!
A truly candid, vulnerable piece. I salute you. Rumi's poem has osmosed (in good ways as always with Rumi) - consider his words:
ReplyDeleteHow much more so those who remind you of God.
Hurry back to the ones protecting you.
I hope you will keep adding to the list of 10 and value yourself for your being one-of-a-kind, perfect as you are without needing to conform or blend into the background.
You can tell those who fall outside of Rumi's description above by a simple test - they will challenge your right to have your own preferences.
A word of caution though - be sure that your preferences remain fluid and don't become a prison by which you define your identity. Remember Admiral Stockdale - if he had been rigid about his preferences, he would have been far more miserable during those years as a POW.
Love your blog! xoxo. m
Thank you so much for these thoughts and comments. I agree that preferences change with time - after all, to be alive is to be organic, changing, dynamic, and to flow rather than stagnate. I hope you are able to consider your own "list"!
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