February 17th, 2017
Affirmation: I know when to let go and when to move on.
Word of the Day: oscitant (adj):
____
Sing Street and Substituting Shoulds for Wants
I finished watching the movie Sing Street last night, and I thought that I would take a stab at a mini movie review since I had mentioned that I wanted to share some movie and book (and concert, theater, etc.) reviews with you all on this blog. For those who are interested, Sing Street is currently available for streaming on Netflix.
Overall, I would give the movie a 2.5 or maybe 3 star out of 5 rating.
The film tells the story of a 15 year old boy (whose name is Connor) growing up in Dublin in the 1980s with his older brother, Brendan, and parents. His parents' relationship is on the rocks, money is tight, and Brendan is perpetually stoned. Brendan introduces Colin to a new era of music around the time that Colin is forced to go to a new (Catholic) school for financial reasons. Colin's faces conflicts with students and teachers alike at his new school, but ultimately makes a few friends. One day, he spies a girl who lives across from the school and is immediately head over heels in love (i.e. infatuation) with her. After he finds out that she is a model, he decides to form a band with his new friends in order to get her to be the model for their music videos.
I won't give away the ending or disclose more plot details, but the biggest bone I had to pick with this movie is the way it typecasts characters into fairly one-dimensional and very cliched and contrived roles. Interestingly, this naïveté and earnest way in which this is done also struck me as somewhat endearing. There is no pretense of grandeur and no forced symbolism and the film is endearingly sincere in its simplicity. It's lack of CGI and any sort of special effects or unexpected twist (indeed, it is predictable from the get-go), lend me to want to characterize it as an "indie" movie, but I am not sure that it is quite that, either.
Ultimately, it is an entertaining and sweet movie with a soundtrack that is particularly enjoyable.
In any case...
This morning, I was listening to the radio. The DJs were talking about relationships (something I want to write a whole lot more about on this blog). I bring this up because I wanted to share a very interesting point that was made that I would love to hear your opinion on: one of the DJs talked with a psychologist about how we always assume ourselves to be innocent while the person is in the wrong when we are in relationships. Specifically, when we tell our partners (they were talking about romantic relationships, in this case) that they "should" do something, we are making ourselves self-appointed managers of their lives and ambassadors of universal morality. The psychologist invited listeners to catch their should's and rephrase them as "wants" to begin to understand just how much we demand of others.
For example, rather than saying, "You should wake up earlier. You should go to the gym. You should organize your desk. You should ____", what if we said, "I want you to wake up earlier. I want you to go to the gym, etc."?
We realize that we are actually quite demanding of our partners. And in our moral superiority, we forget that our expectations of others are often simply our own desires.
To take this a step further, I also invite you to consider the "should's" you place upon yourself. Stop to ask yourself whose "should" it is. Do you really want to do something or is it someone else's rule or expectation? What demands are no longer reasonable in your life and what things that are actually in line with what you want are falling by the wayside?
Drop me a note - and also let me know if you'd like more reviews (I promise they'll get more refined with time!).
Affirmation: I know when to let go and when to move on.
Word of the Day: oscitant (adj):
1. drowsy or
inattentive.
2. yawning, as with
drowsiness; gaping.
3. dull, lazy, or
negligent.
The Worm's Waking
This how a human being can change.
There is a worm
addicted to eating grape leaves.
Suddenly, he wakes up,
call it grace, whatever, something
wakes him, and he is no longer a worm.
He is the entire vineyard,
and the orchard too, the fruit, the trunks,
a growing wisdom and joy
that does not need to devour.
This how a human being can change.
There is a worm
addicted to eating grape leaves.
Suddenly, he wakes up,
call it grace, whatever, something
wakes him, and he is no longer a worm.
He is the entire vineyard,
and the orchard too, the fruit, the trunks,
a growing wisdom and joy
that does not need to devour.
____
Sing Street and Substituting Shoulds for Wants
I finished watching the movie Sing Street last night, and I thought that I would take a stab at a mini movie review since I had mentioned that I wanted to share some movie and book (and concert, theater, etc.) reviews with you all on this blog. For those who are interested, Sing Street is currently available for streaming on Netflix.
Overall, I would give the movie a 2.5 or maybe 3 star out of 5 rating.
The film tells the story of a 15 year old boy (whose name is Connor) growing up in Dublin in the 1980s with his older brother, Brendan, and parents. His parents' relationship is on the rocks, money is tight, and Brendan is perpetually stoned. Brendan introduces Colin to a new era of music around the time that Colin is forced to go to a new (Catholic) school for financial reasons. Colin's faces conflicts with students and teachers alike at his new school, but ultimately makes a few friends. One day, he spies a girl who lives across from the school and is immediately head over heels in love (i.e. infatuation) with her. After he finds out that she is a model, he decides to form a band with his new friends in order to get her to be the model for their music videos.
I won't give away the ending or disclose more plot details, but the biggest bone I had to pick with this movie is the way it typecasts characters into fairly one-dimensional and very cliched and contrived roles. Interestingly, this naïveté and earnest way in which this is done also struck me as somewhat endearing. There is no pretense of grandeur and no forced symbolism and the film is endearingly sincere in its simplicity. It's lack of CGI and any sort of special effects or unexpected twist (indeed, it is predictable from the get-go), lend me to want to characterize it as an "indie" movie, but I am not sure that it is quite that, either.
Ultimately, it is an entertaining and sweet movie with a soundtrack that is particularly enjoyable.
In any case...
This morning, I was listening to the radio. The DJs were talking about relationships (something I want to write a whole lot more about on this blog). I bring this up because I wanted to share a very interesting point that was made that I would love to hear your opinion on: one of the DJs talked with a psychologist about how we always assume ourselves to be innocent while the person is in the wrong when we are in relationships. Specifically, when we tell our partners (they were talking about romantic relationships, in this case) that they "should" do something, we are making ourselves self-appointed managers of their lives and ambassadors of universal morality. The psychologist invited listeners to catch their should's and rephrase them as "wants" to begin to understand just how much we demand of others.
For example, rather than saying, "You should wake up earlier. You should go to the gym. You should organize your desk. You should ____", what if we said, "I want you to wake up earlier. I want you to go to the gym, etc."?
We realize that we are actually quite demanding of our partners. And in our moral superiority, we forget that our expectations of others are often simply our own desires.
To take this a step further, I also invite you to consider the "should's" you place upon yourself. Stop to ask yourself whose "should" it is. Do you really want to do something or is it someone else's rule or expectation? What demands are no longer reasonable in your life and what things that are actually in line with what you want are falling by the wayside?
Drop me a note - and also let me know if you'd like more reviews (I promise they'll get more refined with time!).
Very good insight
ReplyDeleteLoveD
I saw the movie in NYC last year with Pur, Nicolas and Darsh and found it entertaining.
ReplyDeleteRe the 'you should..' vs. 'I want you to...' situation, the response would be why do you want me to....? Is it 'for my own good' or is it to enable a power trip / control thrill / self-serving cause for the other person? In my experience, people who truly love you want your happiness over their ego satisfaction but it takes self-awareness on both sides to figure that out.
As Brendon Burchard says in the part on Social Oppressions in his book "The aims of others (our parents, teachers, spouses, fans) can become our aims if we are not vigilant...... This is the ultimate misery: living a life that is not our own."
Yes - and that is when you can no longer figure out where you end and others begin!
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