February 15th, 2017

February 15th, 2017


Affirmation: To be upset over what I cannot control is to ignore the things I can.


Word of the Day: sine die (adv):

1. without fixing a day for future action or meeting.

Whoever's Calm and Sensible

There is a light seed grain inside.
You fill it with yourself, or it dies.

I'm caught in this curling energy. Your hair.
Whoever's calm and sensible is insane.

____


Trigger Warning

The concept and use of trigger warnings has been on the rise as of late, and I am not sure that I am in support of its increased prevalence. This belief stems from my belief that those of us who truly live life to the fullest do not do so without hurt and pain. This is not to say that I believe suffering build character or that we ought to live in ways that are masochistic or lacking in self-respect and self-compassion. Rather, I believe that being vulnerable opens our hearts our spirits and our Selves to being bumped and bruised. This is not inherently bad. Indeed, learning almost anything in life involves hurt or failure of some kind or another. Growth, too, usually involves some degree of pain or discomfort, a cocoon's physical metamorphosis into a butterfly is a metaphor for what we as humans go through when dealing with transformations of our own. I also think of it in terms of learning to ride a bike - of falling and teetering and practicing over and over again until we achieve a level of mastery.

In short, we do not live in bubbles - and thank goodness for that. We are not immune to the influences of outside people and forces and by trying to resist being affected we are only denying ourselves the very human and very vital process of feeling. By trying to insulate ourselves from every possible trigger and hurt and disappointment and upsetting situation, we not only deprive ourselves of living, but we also make the process of finally getting back into living that much harder. The more we give into fear, the stronger the fear becomes. The more we give into believing that we are incapable of dealing with and feeling our way through life's challenges, the more this becomes the case.

It will hurt. There will be pain, but we owe ourselves growth in this life. There are two main ways in which this happens: either we consciously and deliberately peel back our layers, shedding the "skins" that no longer serve us; or we are broken open. Either way, we are worn down, eroded - like nature - into the full expression of our beauty and Selves.

Mark Nepo put it beautifully when he wrote,

"To journey without being changed is to be a nomad. To change without journeying is to be a chameleon. To journey and be transformed by the journey is to be a pilgrim."

In the contexts of triggers, then, I invite you to take a step towards becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable - that is to say, try to sit with and broaden and expand your tolerance for things that aren't necessarily the status quo in your life.

I will leave you with this metaphor that describes it perfectly, I think:

It is better to put on shoes than to try to carpet the world.

What are the "triggers" in your life?

Where do they come from?

What feelings, thoughts, and behaviors do they bring up for you?

How have you responded to these triggers in the past?

How do you plan to respond to and relate to these triggers in the future?