Newton's First Law

March 29th, 2018


Newton's First Law

Newton's first law of motion - also known as the law of inertia - can be paraphrased as follows: an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion (with the same speed and in the same direction) unless it is acted upon by an unbalanced force.

This law applies to all nature in a physical sense, yet we often overlook the fact that it can apply to our lives in other ways, as well.

Specifically, a lot of us live in states of ongoing denial, delaying, procrastination, and wishing, believing waiting for epiphanies, revelations, "aha" moments, next big breaks, soulmates, opportunities, etc. to just fall in our laps. It is as though we believe that one day the skies will part and we will be struck down with a lightning bolt of divine intervention.

If you live your life this way, you might be waiting a long time.

In you want the "object" that is your life to continue to stay on the course that it is currently going in (and remain at its current speed and direction), by all means keep doing what you're doing. If your life is stagnant, stuck, or otherwise "at rest," you can go ahead and sit back.

But if you want things to change direction, pick up speed, and transform, you'll need to put in the "force."

And remember: the "force" doesn't need to be monumental - every little bit of energy and every single baby step counts.

Just make sure that the "forces" you apply aren't in opposing directions, thereby cancelling themselves out!

Sum Of The Parts

March 28th, 2018


Sum Of The Parts

In her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford wrote:

“We live under the impression that in order for something to be divine it has to be perfect. We are mistaken. In fact, the exact opposite is true. To be divine is to be whole and to be whole is to be everything: the positive and the negative, the good and the bad, the holy man and the devil. When we take the time to discover our shadow and its gifts we will understand what Jung meant by, ‘The gold is in the dark.’ Each of us needs to find that gold in order to reunite with our sacred self.”

Being aware of all the parts of our Self (i.e. increasing self-awareness), accepting all facets of our being, and appreciating our "shadow side" (and even using in workable and advantageous ways in our lives) is key to feeling and being integrated. And this is essential in living an authentic life.

PS Here is a list (http://www.mnliteracy.org/sites/default/files/strengths-light-and-dark.pdf) of ways that you can use your shadow traits in positive, helpful ways in your life.

For example, if you are an "Achiever," your shadow side may be judgmental, over-competitive, hard on yourself, only finds identity through achievement, is never satisfied or at peace, can’t say no, and is too concentrated on work.

Yet, the light side of this shadow is committed, responsible (work ethic), and keeps things moving forward.

Remember, there is always a ying to every yang, a light to every darkness.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

March 27th, 2018


Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Wouldn't it be nice if you got to pick your mood?

If you got to choose whether you feel sad or happy? Angry or peaceful? Resentful or reflective? Ashamed or empowered? Insecure or confident? Despair or awe? Hate or Love?

Great news!

You do!

You decide your feelings.

You always have and you always will be able to.

You may not be able to decide or control what happens outside of you, but right here and right now you can choose how you want to feel.

Cue this song (you got the power!):

PPS Ok, this one, too! (Will you choose to feel pretty, witty, and wise? Or something else?)

An Inside Job

March 26th, 2018


An Inside Job

Change in our life happens in one of two ways:

1. Something changes from outside (note: this can mean that something new enters and/or something that currently exists goes away/changes).

2. Something changes from within.

If you want a change in your life and things outside yourself are not changing in the way you want/ need them to in spite of your efforts, you might want to consider option #2.

One Bird

March 25th, 2018


One Bird

We live in a society where "killing two birds with one stone" is seen as a good thing.

We justify that doing so is "more efficient."

We tell ourselves, "if we can, why shouldn't we?"

But just because we can does not mean that we should.

When it comes down to it, if you only need one bird, "killing" any more is wasteful.

It is irresponsible.

It is unsustainable.

And the mentality of hoarding and believing that we must keep resources from others in order to have a leg up (believing that more for "them" means less for "us" and vice versa) is what keeps our world stuck in a state of ever-increasing scarcity and lack.

The Early Bird Gets The Worm...

March 24th, 2018


... But the early fish gets the frying pan.

Make sure you know when the situation you find yourself in is above ground or under water.

False Dichotomy

March 22nd, 2018


False Dichotomy

There are two types of people in the world:

Those who believe that all people can be neatly subdivided into two group.

And those who understand that doing so is a gross oversimplification, that human beings much too complex and multifaceted than to be able to be boxed into tidy categories.

The Life-Changing Person You Need In Your Life

March 20th, 2018


The Life-Changing Person You Need In Your Life

Whether we are seeking a soulmate, a guru, or a role model, it seems that most people are looking for that someone who can transform their lives.

I've got news for you: you can stop looking.

If you're searching for the one person that will change your life, look in the mirror

Why We Explode

March 19th, 2018


Why We Explode 

Have you ever soda can or bottle and opened it?

If so, you've likely experienced it's explosion of contents spewing everywhere.

Once shaken, the secret to avoiding this is to let the bottle/can settle for a little time. Then, unscrew the lid or pop the tab very gently and carefully, so as to release the pressure inside slowly and steadily.

Our anger and response to stress in general can be thought of in a very similar way.

 Different things "shake us up," and we allow these events and inputs to build up pressure inside of us until we eventually explode. This "explosion" can take many forms including lashing out in rage or engaging in unhealthy behaviors such as an addiction.

If you find yourself responding to anger or the stressors in your life like a bottle of soda about to blow, consider implementing some coping mechanisms into your that allow you to take a pause and slowly release stress as it comes your way rather than letting it build.

Why Guilt and Flagellation Do Not Work

March 18th, 2018


Why Guilt And Flagellation Do Not Work

Beating ourselves up most often results in the opposite outcome from what we want to achieve and what we were beating ourselves up about in the first place.

Being self-compassionate to ourselves when we make mistakes is not and "excuse" and does not let us off the hook.

Rather, it allows us to objectively own our actions and words without over-the-top self-condemnation and unrealistic vows to be perfect in the future. It allows us examine and understand the numerous causes and conditions that lead us to act the way we do. It gives us the humility to admit to ourselves that we are human and we are flawed. It enables us to see ourselves more clearly and accurately so that we can do what is needed to make things better as well as make possible changes moving forward.

In a similar vein, tempering guilt allows us to get more done.

Neutralizing perfectionism mitigates paralysis and procrastination.

Actively deciding not to panic and overcompensate allows us to step into a place of peace in the midst of chaos and confusion.

Ultimately, the man who is whipped (whether physically or by the words he tells himself/ lets himself believe) is left weaker, not stronger.

What Other Think And How Others Behave

March 17th, 2018


What Others Think And How Others Behave

We wouldn't worry so much about what other people think about us if we realized how seldom they actually do.

Like we are, they are likely thinking about themselves and the way they are perceived!

Similarly, it would mitigate a lot of suffering if we realized that the way in which people respond to us has so much more to do with them than it does about us.

This does not give us license to be jerks to others, but it does help us acknowledge that even when it seems person, it seldom ever is.

You cannot control everything others do or say to you, but you CAN control the things that YOU do and say... and THINK!

BLTs

March 15th, 2018


BLTs

I recently ready about a woman who claimed that she had lost 100 pounds and kept it off by avoiding what she calls "BLTs." This acronym refers to "bits, licks, tastes, and sips."

The way I see it, it isn't about the BLTs themselves, but rather the change in attitude that this woman had towards food that made the biggest difference. She says: "Don't think of food as a reward. You don't "deserve" a treat and you are not "depriving yourself" if you don't have it. It's not about never having a cupcake it's about not always having a cupcake."

I agree fully.

Food is a metaphor for so many other things in our lives, as are our attitudes and habits about and around food.

People often do not examine the "little things" they "consume" each day, but in aggregate, they really add up to large amounts and make a big difference.

For me, my BLTs include checking email, surfing the web, Facebook, texting, and all other manner of distraction and procrastination.

BLTs also serve as ways that we numb and "check out" from our bodies and our lives, living life by default rather than by intention.

While addictions and other maladaptive coping mechanisms are certainly examples of this numbing, seemingly more subtle things - such as living on autopilot or staying in unhealthy relationships - can also be implicated.

Ultimately, we must remind ourselves that how we spend our moments is how we spend our days. And how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

Crisis

March 13th, 2018

Crisis

The book I mentioned yesterday also discussed the etymology of the word "crisis." It comes from a Greek root meaning "to sift." According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, to sift is "to go through especially to sort out what is useful of valuable."

Imagine if we were to view crises in this way.

Though they hardly feel like it at the time, what if we realized that trusted that the crises in our lives were invitations to get rid of the excess, the unnecessary, and even the undesirable aspects of our lives? What if we realized that they are meant to leave us with what is truly most important and meaningful?

The way I see it, crises are opportunities to take a breath, take stock, and figure out what we truly value and how to start living in line with those things.

They are wake up calls out of the hypnotic, autopilot states of stagnancy and unworkability that we often find ourselves in, but numb ourselves (or deny ourselves) out of feeling.

The unexamined life truly is not worth it.

PS Speaking of etymology:

Disaster

March 12th, 2018

Disaster

I recently read that the word "disaster" comes from the Latin words "dis-" (apart or away) and "astrum" (star). In other words, the word disaster refers to being away from the stars or cut off from the light.

(As a random aside, I LOVE words, linguistics, and etymology... so more on this theme in future posts!).

This reminds me of what depression, hopelessness, helplessness, despair, desperation, and apathy feel life. They - amongst other emotions - are all often our soul-weary responses to disasters in lives.

It is in times like these that we must remind ourselves that the stars still exist, even if we cannot see them.

In their time, they will once again light up our skies.

And as hard (and annoying) as it is to appreciate at the time, our struggles and challenges have the potential to bring us unexpected growth, opportunities, wisdom, and perspective.

As the common Latin adage goes, "Per aspera ad astra" (through difficulties to the stars).





PS A song with lyrics very pertinent to this theme:

PPS And another one: