Meditation: Day 11 - Healing Your Hidden Issues
I am still struggling in my personal life a great deal and as much as I profess the life-changing power of vulnerability, it is still hard for me to actually put it into practice, into action. There are many things in my life that I so rationally know to be good for me, yet there exists gaps of varying lengths between intent and action, between knowledge and implementation, between desire and practice.
I had wanted to write about bridging the gap between the real and the ideal (both in terms of values and where life is now as well as this issue of knowing something is right for you and even wanting to do that thing but not actually doing it).
Instead, I want to write about this idea of "healing your hidden issues," which is think is very related. Speaking for myself, I have a lot of hidden issues. My metaphorical closet is filled with skeletons of my past and it feels like I am acquiring new "stuff" to hide on a daily basis. For every piece of "dirty laundry" that I air, I add at least another few dozen things to my closet. Ironically, I feel most connected and close to those people who are able to be authentic and vulnerable with me. I have the most respect and gratitude for those people who show up as themselves - "warts" and all - with no masks or hidden agendas. I feel humbled and inspired by those who own their stories and accept themselves fully.
Yet, I can't seem to bridge the gap in my own life.
I can blame society, the media, my family, and who or whatever else I can think of, but when it comes down to it, the things that keep me from being me are also my own: things like shame, fear, insecurity, self-judgment (and even self-loathing), low self-confidence, feeling like too much or not enough…. and so much more. It is so much easier to know things in your head - and even accept them as truth in your head - than to do the same with the heart.
And the more I bury the unacceptable experiences, emotions, thoughts, and parts of myself, the more I am burying my sense of self, my self-worth, my self-acceptance, and my identity. The more I am burying me and the more I lose track of who that person is to begin with.
Trying to be all things to all people has all but blown up in my face on more than one occasion in my life and has left everyone feeling uncomfortable at best.
Brene Brown said it best in the following two quotes:
In the end, I really believe that the only way to do something is to do it. We can navel-gaze and talk about it all day long, but when push comes to shove, we must realize that the only way out is through. There are no backdoors or shortcuts to being vulnerable and to the fruits of that vulnerability.
Quotes:
PS Article Roundup:
Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain
Hearing Your Own Voice Can Change Your Mood
BPA Is Still Present in 60% of Cans in the U.S.: Study
Protecting Earth's resources can boost personal happiness
I really wish that I had watched all of these yesterday!!!
10 AWESOME TED TALKS TO LIVE A HEALTHIER LIFE
PPS
(Chopra Center 21-Day Meditation Challenge: Shedding the Weight
Centering Thought: I let negativity and darkness dissolve in my light.
Mantra: Aroot Perum Jothi (I bring the light of divine grace into my Being.)
Quote: "The light within us can always identify our mind's darkness." - Munia Khan
I had wanted to write about bridging the gap between the real and the ideal (both in terms of values and where life is now as well as this issue of knowing something is right for you and even wanting to do that thing but not actually doing it).
Instead, I want to write about this idea of "healing your hidden issues," which is think is very related. Speaking for myself, I have a lot of hidden issues. My metaphorical closet is filled with skeletons of my past and it feels like I am acquiring new "stuff" to hide on a daily basis. For every piece of "dirty laundry" that I air, I add at least another few dozen things to my closet. Ironically, I feel most connected and close to those people who are able to be authentic and vulnerable with me. I have the most respect and gratitude for those people who show up as themselves - "warts" and all - with no masks or hidden agendas. I feel humbled and inspired by those who own their stories and accept themselves fully.
Yet, I can't seem to bridge the gap in my own life.
I can blame society, the media, my family, and who or whatever else I can think of, but when it comes down to it, the things that keep me from being me are also my own: things like shame, fear, insecurity, self-judgment (and even self-loathing), low self-confidence, feeling like too much or not enough…. and so much more. It is so much easier to know things in your head - and even accept them as truth in your head - than to do the same with the heart.
And the more I bury the unacceptable experiences, emotions, thoughts, and parts of myself, the more I am burying my sense of self, my self-worth, my self-acceptance, and my identity. The more I am burying me and the more I lose track of who that person is to begin with.
Trying to be all things to all people has all but blown up in my face on more than one occasion in my life and has left everyone feeling uncomfortable at best.
Brene Brown said it best in the following two quotes:
When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain
access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that
we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to
distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think
we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our
worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our
sense of worthiness—that critically important piece that gives us access to
love and belonging—lives inside of our story.
Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?"
Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?”
In the end, I really believe that the only way to do something is to do it. We can navel-gaze and talk about it all day long, but when push comes to shove, we must realize that the only way out is through. There are no backdoors or shortcuts to being vulnerable and to the fruits of that vulnerability.
Quotes:
“What happens when people open their hearts?"
"They get better.”
― Haruki Murakami
“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”
― Paulo Coelho
“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we
would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To
be alive is to be vulnerable.”
― Madeleine L'Engle
PS Article Roundup:
Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain
Hearing Your Own Voice Can Change Your Mood
BPA Is Still Present in 60% of Cans in the U.S.: Study
Protecting Earth's resources can boost personal happiness
I really wish that I had watched all of these yesterday!!!
10 AWESOME TED TALKS TO LIVE A HEALTHIER LIFE
PPS
