I think that we are all hypocrites in certain areas of our lives for things are often much easier said (or believed) than done (or vice versa). Today's meditation focused on putting beliefs in to practice, and I was reminded how much I do NOT do this in my life:
Meditation: Day 9 - Put Your Beliefs into Practice
I've been wanting to write a post (many posts, actually) about values, and I feel like this is as good a time as any since the gap between our values and the way we actually carry out our lives can often feel like a gaping, endless chasm with no means of bridging gap. If we were to rank our values based on priority and rank our values based on their success/ fulfillment in our lives, we would often find that the rankings don't match up with reality.
(Unrelated side note: I've noticed that I often write in a way that assumes everyone's experience in this blog. I will trying to make a concerted effort to speak in terms of "I" and "me" and my own experience from this point onward).
I once did a "values cards" exercise where I was presented with a large deck of cards, each with a single value on it. My task was to pick my top 7 - no more. It was challenging because practically every card seemed appealing and important to me. In that way, the exercise was also about prioritization - about being able to say no and yes, about being able to set boundaries with myself, about not biting off more than I could chew, about time and energy management.
I don't remember all of the values I chose, but I know that spirituality, fun, education/ career, and relationships were among them. I felt guilty for choosing fun because it sounded lazy, indulgent, hedonistic, and not worthy or noble enough. But fun and leisure and adventure are a part of what makes me me. I actually mean it when I say that experiences bring me far more joy than things ever could. I have a case of incurable wanderlust and there is something in my beating heart that is passionate and wild amidst my externally hyper-structured and planned lifestyle and rather type-A personality. (And don't get me wrong - structure really works for me, but that is for another post).
Spirituality was also a tough one. I do not want to step on any toes and talking about religion/ spirituality is difficult for me because I have been told things that hurt me quite a bit when I haven't agreed with certain people about it. I have close friends who ascribe to every major religion and lack thereof.
In the interest of not taking up this whole post in disclosures, I will simply say that while I am not religious, I do consider myself to be spiritual. And my spirituality looks really unique and is pretty personal. Music, movement, nature, my gratitude practice, my meditation practice, deep and meaningful relationships, certain pieces of prose and poetry - these are all spiritual experiences to me.
I got my BS in Accounting but I have wanted to me a doctor since I was a freshman in high school. (As a side note, the career that everyone who has ever weighed in on the subject has told me that I should pursue is law... I am not sure what that says about me? I loved the one business law course I took and I think that I would love to do law... especially litigation...). I chose to go into business because both my parents went to business school and I thought that it was what they expected me to do and that it was the only thing that I could succeed in. After getting my BS and feeling entirely disconnected from myself, I ended up going back to school to do my pre-med prerequisites. I wish that I had told my younger self a lot of things and one of those things would be (as cheesy as it sounds) to follow my heart, to really do what makes me happy, what sparks joy, curiosity, and life-long growth, enrichment, and fulfillment.
In the future, I would like to devote a post to exploring why we do what we do and why we often do things that go against the things that we really want to do - whether out of fear, nostalgia, habit, expectations, discomfort, or whatever else.
Relationships mean everything to me. I have struggled a great deal with them for various reasons. In my personal development and self-growth, I have seen my relationships grow and develop as well. Paradoxically, as described by Ayn Rand, "Love is an expression and an assertion of self-esteem, a response to one's own values in the person of another." We've all heard that self-love must precede other love. Without over-analyzing semantics, I would submit that self-acceptance precedes other acceptance and the level of work we "do" on ourself reflects the level we are able to appreciate and acknowledge in others. Our self-awareness is reflected in those around us.
I would like to build upon this values discussion tomorrow, and I would I like to end by saying that my top values are not reflected in terms of time or effort in the way I live and conduct my life. I am getting better at it and I am aware that it is an ongoing process. This is why periodic "real versus ideal" check ups can be helpful. Once we note the discrepancies, what next?
(Not to leave you hanging, but I will follow up on that question in a future post!).
What are your values? If you are looking for a helpful list or way to come up with your own top 7, here are some ideas. (And, of course, these lists are not exhaustive).
Values List:
2 Poems for today:
- Max Ehrmann
PS
Meditation: Day 9 - Put Your Beliefs into Practice
(Chopra Center 21-Day Meditation Challenge: Shedding the Weight
Centering Thought: I activate my vision of healing every day.
Mantra: Om Ram Ramaya (I bring balance and strength into my life.)
Quote: "What happens when people open their hearts? They get better." - Haruki Murakami
I've been wanting to write a post (many posts, actually) about values, and I feel like this is as good a time as any since the gap between our values and the way we actually carry out our lives can often feel like a gaping, endless chasm with no means of bridging gap. If we were to rank our values based on priority and rank our values based on their success/ fulfillment in our lives, we would often find that the rankings don't match up with reality.
(Unrelated side note: I've noticed that I often write in a way that assumes everyone's experience in this blog. I will trying to make a concerted effort to speak in terms of "I" and "me" and my own experience from this point onward).
I once did a "values cards" exercise where I was presented with a large deck of cards, each with a single value on it. My task was to pick my top 7 - no more. It was challenging because practically every card seemed appealing and important to me. In that way, the exercise was also about prioritization - about being able to say no and yes, about being able to set boundaries with myself, about not biting off more than I could chew, about time and energy management.
I don't remember all of the values I chose, but I know that spirituality, fun, education/ career, and relationships were among them. I felt guilty for choosing fun because it sounded lazy, indulgent, hedonistic, and not worthy or noble enough. But fun and leisure and adventure are a part of what makes me me. I actually mean it when I say that experiences bring me far more joy than things ever could. I have a case of incurable wanderlust and there is something in my beating heart that is passionate and wild amidst my externally hyper-structured and planned lifestyle and rather type-A personality. (And don't get me wrong - structure really works for me, but that is for another post).
Spirituality was also a tough one. I do not want to step on any toes and talking about religion/ spirituality is difficult for me because I have been told things that hurt me quite a bit when I haven't agreed with certain people about it. I have close friends who ascribe to every major religion and lack thereof.
In the interest of not taking up this whole post in disclosures, I will simply say that while I am not religious, I do consider myself to be spiritual. And my spirituality looks really unique and is pretty personal. Music, movement, nature, my gratitude practice, my meditation practice, deep and meaningful relationships, certain pieces of prose and poetry - these are all spiritual experiences to me.
I got my BS in Accounting but I have wanted to me a doctor since I was a freshman in high school. (As a side note, the career that everyone who has ever weighed in on the subject has told me that I should pursue is law... I am not sure what that says about me? I loved the one business law course I took and I think that I would love to do law... especially litigation...). I chose to go into business because both my parents went to business school and I thought that it was what they expected me to do and that it was the only thing that I could succeed in. After getting my BS and feeling entirely disconnected from myself, I ended up going back to school to do my pre-med prerequisites. I wish that I had told my younger self a lot of things and one of those things would be (as cheesy as it sounds) to follow my heart, to really do what makes me happy, what sparks joy, curiosity, and life-long growth, enrichment, and fulfillment.
In the future, I would like to devote a post to exploring why we do what we do and why we often do things that go against the things that we really want to do - whether out of fear, nostalgia, habit, expectations, discomfort, or whatever else.
Relationships mean everything to me. I have struggled a great deal with them for various reasons. In my personal development and self-growth, I have seen my relationships grow and develop as well. Paradoxically, as described by Ayn Rand, "Love is an expression and an assertion of self-esteem, a response to one's own values in the person of another." We've all heard that self-love must precede other love. Without over-analyzing semantics, I would submit that self-acceptance precedes other acceptance and the level of work we "do" on ourself reflects the level we are able to appreciate and acknowledge in others. Our self-awareness is reflected in those around us.
I would like to build upon this values discussion tomorrow, and I would I like to end by saying that my top values are not reflected in terms of time or effort in the way I live and conduct my life. I am getting better at it and I am aware that it is an ongoing process. This is why periodic "real versus ideal" check ups can be helpful. Once we note the discrepancies, what next?
(Not to leave you hanging, but I will follow up on that question in a future post!).
What are your values? If you are looking for a helpful list or way to come up with your own top 7, here are some ideas. (And, of course, these lists are not exhaustive).
Values List:
- Abundance
- Acceptance
- Accessibility
- Accomplishment
- Accountability
- Accuracy
- Achievement
- Acknowledgement
- Activeness
- Adaptability
- Adoration
- Adroitness
- Advancement
- Adventure
- Affection
- Affluence
- Aggressiveness
- Agility
- Alertness
- Altruism
- Amazement
- Ambition
- Amusement
- Anticipation
- Appreciation
- Approachability
- Approval
- Art
- Articulacy
- Artistry
- Assertiveness
- Assurance
- Attentiveness
- Attractiveness
- Audacity
- Availability
- Awareness
- Awe
- Balance
- Beauty
- Being the best
- Belonging
- Benevolence
- Bliss
- Boldness
- Bravery
- Brilliance
- Buoyancy
- Calmness
- Camaraderie
- Candor
- Capability
- Care
- Carefulness
- Celebrity
- Certainty
- Challenge
- Change
- Charity
- Charm
- Chastity
- Cheerfulness
- Clarity
- Cleanliness
- Clear-mindedness
- Cleverness
- Closeness
- Comfort
- Commitment
- Community
- Compassion
- Competence
- Competition
- Completion
- Composure
- Concentration
- Confidence
- Conformity
- Congruency
- Connection
- Consciousness
- Conservation
- Consistency
- Contentment
- Continuity
- Contribution
- Control
- Conviction
- Conviviality
- Coolness
- Cooperation
- Cordiality
- Correctness
- Country
- Courage
- Courtesy
- Craftiness
- Creativity
- Credibility
- Cunning
- Curiosity
- Daring
- Decisiveness
- Decorum
- Deference
- Delight
- Dependability
- Depth
- Desire
- Determination
- Devotion
- Devoutness
- Dexterity
- Dignity
- Diligence
- Direction
- Directness
- Discipline
- Discovery
- Discretion
- Diversity
- Dominance
- Dreaming
- Drive
- Duty
- Dynamism
- Eagerness
- Ease
- Economy
- Ecstasy
- Education
- Effectiveness
- Efficiency
- Elation
- Elegance
- Empathy
- Encouragement
- Endurance
- Energy
- Enjoyment
- Entertainment
- Enthusiasm
- Environmentalism
- Ethics
- Euphoria
- Excellence
- Excitement
- Exhilaration
- Expectancy
- Expediency
- Experience
- Expertise
- Exploration
- Expressiveness
- Extravagance
- Extroversion
- Exuberance
- Fairness
- Faith
- Fame
- Family
- Fascination
- Fashion
- Fearlessness
- Ferocity
- Fidelity
- Fierceness
- Financial independence
- Firmness
- Fitness
- Flexibility
- Flow
- Fluency
- Focus
- Fortitude
- Frankness
- Freedom
- Friendliness
- Friendship
- Frugality
- Fun
- Gallantry
- Generosity
- Gentility
- Giving
- Grace
- Gratitude
- Gregariousness
- Growth
- Guidance
- Happiness
- Harmony
- Health
- Heart
- Helpfulness
- Heroism
- Holiness
- Honesty
- Honor
- Hopefulness
- Hospitality
- Humility
- Humor
- Hygiene
- Imagination
- Impact
- Impartiality
- Independence
- Individuality
- Industry
- Influence
- Ingenuity
- Inquisitiveness
- Insightfulness
- Inspiration
- Integrity
- Intellect
- Intelligence
- Intensity
- Intimacy
- Intrepidness
- Introspection
- Introversion
- Intuition
- Intuitiveness
- Inventiveness
- Investing
- Involvement
- Joy
- Judiciousness
- Justice
- Keenness
- Kindness
- Knowledge
- Leadership
- Learning
- Liberation
- Liberty
- Lightness
- Liveliness
- Logic
- Longevity
- Love
- Loyalty
- Majesty
- Making a difference
- Marriage
- Mastery
- Maturity
- Meaning
- Meekness
- Mellowness
- Meticulousness
- Mindfulness
- Modesty
- Motivation
- Mysteriousness
- Nature
- Neatness
- Nerve
- Noncomformity
- Obedience
- Open-mindedness
- Openness
- Optimism
- Order
- Organization
- Originality
- Outdoors
- Outlandishness
- Outrageousness
- Partnership
- Patience
- Passion
- Peace
- Perceptiveness
- Perfection
- Perkiness
- Perseverance
- Persistence
- Persuasiveness
- Philanthropy
- Piety
- Playfulness
- Pleasantness
- Pleasure
- Poise
- Polish
- Popularity
- Potency
- Power
- Practicality
- Pragmatism
- Precision
- Preparedness
- Presence
- Pride
- Privacy
- Proactivity
- Professionalism
- Prosperity
- Prudence
- Punctuality
- Purity
- Rationality
- Realism
- Reason
- Reasonableness
- Recognition
- Recreation
- Refinement
- Reflection
- Relaxation
- Reliability
- Relief
- Religiousness
- Reputation
- Resilience
- Resolution
- Resolve
- Resourcefulness
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Rest
- Restraint
- Reverence
- Richness
- Rigor
- Sacredness
- Sacrifice
- Sagacity
- Saintliness
- Sanguinity
- Satisfaction
- Science
- Security
- Self-control
- Selflessness
- Self-reliance
- Self-respect
- Sensitivity
- Sensuality
- Serenity
- Service
- Sexiness
- Sexuality
- Sharing
- Shrewdness
- Significance
- Silence
- Silliness
- Simplicity
- Sincerity
- Skillfulness
- Solidarity
- Solitude
- Sophistication
- Soundness
- Speed
- Spirit
- Spirituality
- Spontaneity
- Spunk
- Stability
- Status
- Stealth
- Stillness
- Strength
- Structure
- Success
- Support
- Supremacy
- Surprise
- Sympathy
- Synergy
- Teaching
- Teamwork
- Temperance
- Thankfulness
- Thoroughness
- Thoughtfulness
- Thrift
- Tidiness
- Timeliness
- Traditionalism
- Tranquility
- Transcendence
- Trust
- Trustworthiness
- Truth
- Understanding
- Unflappability
- Uniqueness
- Unity
- Usefulness
- Utility
- Valor
- Variety
- Victory
- Vigor
- Virtue
- Vision
- Vitality
- Vivacity
- Volunteering
- Warmheartedness
- Warmth
- Watchfulness
- Wealth
- Willfulness
- Willingness
- Winning
- Wisdom
- Wittiness
- Wonder
- Worthiness
- Youthfulness
- Zeal
2 Poems for today:
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the
ignorant;
they too have their
story.
Avoid loud and aggressive
persons,
they are vexations to the
spirit.
If you compare yourself with
others,
you may become vain and
bitter;
for always there will
be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in
your own career, however humble;
it is a real
possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in
your business affairs;
for the world is
full of trickery.
But let this not
blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive
for high ideals;
and everywhere life
is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not
feign affection.
Neither be cynical
about love;
for in the face of
all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial
as the grass.
Take kindly the
counsel of the years,
gracefully
surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of
spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress
yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born
of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome
discipline,
be gentle with
yourself.
You are a child of
the universe,
no less than the
trees and the stars;
you have a right to
be here.
And whether or not
it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at
peace with God
whatever you
conceive Him to be,
and whatever your
labors and aspirations,
in the noisy
confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a
beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
If
If you can keep
your head when all about you
Are losing theirs
and blaming it on you,
If you can trust
yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance
for their doubting too,
If you can wait
and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied
about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated,
don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look
too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can
dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can
think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet
with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those
two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to
hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves
to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the
things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and
build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make
one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all
on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and
start again at your beginnings
And never breath a
word about your loss;
If you can force
your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn
long after they are gone,
And so hold on
when there is nothing in you
Except the Will
which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk
with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with
kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes
nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count
with you, but none too much,
If you can fill
the unforgiving minute
With sixty
seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth
and everything that's in it,
And--which is
more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
PS
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