February 25th, 2017

February 25th, 2017


Affirmation: I stand up for what I believe.


Word of the Day: runnel (n):

1. a small strem; brook; rivulet.

My Worst Habit

My worst habit is I get so tired of winter
I become a torture to those I'm with.

If you are not here, nothing grows.
I lack clarity. My words
tangle and knot up.

How to cure bad water? Send it back to the river.
How to cure bad habits? Send me back to you.

When water gets caught in habitual whirlpools,
dig a way out through the bottom
to the ocean. There is a secret medicine
given only to those who hurt so hard
they can't hope.

The hopers would feel slighted if they knew.

Look as long as you can at the friend you love,
no matter whether that friend is moving away from you
or coming back toward you.

____


10 Things To Let Go Off TODAY

I'm still recovering from feeling being pretty ill. Still have a high fever, chills, runny noise, and painful cough/ sore throat. Most of all, everything just hurts and I am exhausted and unable to get much work done or concentrate... or even really move that much, for that matter.

So while I would like to share these 10 things with you, bear in mind that I hope to elaborate on them further in future posts, but I'm just "planting the seeds" here.

When we think of letting things go, doing so seems unrealistic or even impossible because the prospect of giving something up FOREVER (especially when it is something that has been a part of our lives for a long time) can feel daunting at the least.

One of my personal mantras (that I will definitely want to write about more extensively), is "life is in all in the coming back." That is to say, we seldom commit to something once and call it good. We often deviate from the path, but the practice is recognizing and acknowledging when we've strayed and gently guiding ourselves back to the path. In this way, life itself in much like a living meditation.

Thus, as I present these 10 things with you, remember that you can practice committing to them... and recommitting to them again and again and again. It really is about the journey as opposed to some set destination in this case.

So for today - just for today - could you practice committing to just one of these practices? And remember - if you find yourself having abandoned the commitment part-way through, you are right where you need to be...

1. Let go of worrying about the future.

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” 
― Corrie ten Boom

“No amount of regretting can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.” 
― Roy T. Bennett

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” 
― Marcus Aurelius 

2. Let go of pleasing others.

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.” 
― Jim Carrey

“In trying to please all, he had pleased none.” 
― Aesop

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself. When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self acceptance opened.” 

― Shannon L. Alder

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

― Lao-Tzu

3. Let go of competing with others. 

“It's not really about the competition. Your biggest challenge in a race is yourself. You're often racing against time. You're frequently running everything through your mind. You're always competing against preconceived ideas. It's not really the person next to you that you worry about.”

―Summer Sanders

“Take someone who doesn't keep score,
who's not looking to be richer, or afraid of losing,
who has not the slightest interest even
in his own personality: he's free.” 
― Jalaluddin Rumi

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

4. Let go of chasing happiness. 

“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”

- Guillaume Apollinaire

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

– Albert Schweitzer

“The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions.”

– Robert Louis Stevenson


5. Let go of making assumptions. (If this feels too broad to tackle, I invite you to specifically let go of making assumptions about what other people feel, want, or think.)

Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. - Don Miguel Ruiz

What a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts.

- George Bernard Shaw 

If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that sometimes our assumptions and preconceived notions are wrong, and therefore, our interpretation of events is incorrect. This causes us to overreact, to take things personally, or to judge people unfairly.

- Elizabeth Thornton

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.” 
- Isaac Asimov

6. Let go of judging.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” 
― Steve Maraboli

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“As long as we continue to live as if we are what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us, we will remain filled with judgments, opinions, evaluations, and condemnations. We will remain addicted to putting people and things in their "right" place.” 
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

7. Let go of blaming.

“Blame doesn't empower you. It keeps you stuck in a place you don't want to be because you don't want to make the temporary, but painful decision, to be responsible for the outcome of your own life's happiness.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

“You can get discouraged many times, but you are not a failure until you begin to blame somebody else and stop trying.” 
― John Burroughs

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

― Robert Anthony

8. Let go of the need to be busy all the time. 

“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.” 
― Wall Street Journal

“Those who are wise won't be busy, and those who are too busy can't be wise.” 
― Lin Yutang

“The greatest enemy of good thinking is busyness.” 
― John C. Maxwell

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.” 
― Thomas A. Edison

9. Let go of criticism (of self and others).

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots.”

― Frank A. Clark

“If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” 
― François de La Rochefoucauld

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” 
― Dale Carnegie

10. Let go of the need to be perfect.

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough - that we should try again.

- Julia Cameron

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?" Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?” 

- Brene Brown

Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.
- Anne Lamott

____

Which of these 10 things do you find hardest to let go of? Easiest?

What is one other things you would add to this list?

How do you practice self-compassion when you find yourself having "faltered"?

Drop me a note and let me know! Also let me know if you would be interested in posts specifically dealing with these 10 issues.