January 2nd, 2016

January 2nd, 2016


Affirmation: I trust that the waiting part of change is necessary. I trust my desire for change in the beginning of change.


Word of the Day: baleful (adj):
1. deadly or pernicious in influence.
2. foreboding or threatening evil.

A Single Brushstroke Down

Light dawns, and any talk of proof

resembles a blind man’s cane at sunrise.

Remember the passage,

We are with you wherever you are.

Come back to that.

When did we ever leave it?

No matter we’re in a prison of forgetting

or enjoying the banquet of wisdom,

we are always inside presence.

Drunkenly asleep, tenderly awake,

clouded with grief, laughing like lightning,

angry at war, quiet with gratitude, we are nothing

in this many-mooded world of weather

but a single brushstroke down,

speaking of presence.

*The word Allah (or God or the Divine) in Arabic begins with a strong downward mark.

_________

I woke up late this morning, which was frustrating, but after breakfast and having a shower, mom and I were able to finish the bulk of my packing for my upcoming trip. I still can't believe that it is only 2 days away! It feels surreal and my heart is filled with anticipation, excitement, nervousness, happiness, and a plethora of other feelings... and a whole lot of gratitude. 

Dad met me in my apartment for a late lunch because he won't see me for nearly 3 weeks (he has a business trip in Chicago that he's left for this afternoon and then I'm leaving for my trip and he has a trip in Canada later, which he won't be back from until the 20th). 

After lunch and having a heart-to-heart conversation (those are the best - poignant and bittersweet are the only two words I can think of to describe them right now), we drove back to my parents' house (about 30 minutes away) and mom and I went on a walk twice around the subdivision (which is about 3 miles). Dad came on the first round but went back in because it was pretty cold. During the walk, we bought seashells from some neighborhood kids that were about 5 or 6 years old and theyalso showed up some magic tricks and Mom and I tried not to argue too much ;-)

After that, we hung out until shortly after 4pm, when Dad's ride to the airport arrived and Dad dropped me off at my place on the way to the airport. 

I am going to make and eat dinner now, and after that, I am going to seriously try and work on one of the 10 secondary applications I still have to do (!!!). Especially since the likelihood is that I won't get much done in terms of work when I am on my trip! I'll also try to get to bed at a decent hour tonight so that I don't totally sleep in tomorrow like I did today!