January 25th, 2017

January 25th, 2017


Affirmation: “I am a wonderful being. I used to scold and criticize myself because I believed it would help me improve my life, yet criticism has not improved me over the years. In fact, criticism seems to make it harder to change and progress. So, as I listen to my inner dialogue and find that I am being critical, telling myself that I am not good enough or that I am doing something wrong, I recognize the old patterns, and I immediately begin to speak lovingly to myself. Instead of tearing myself apart, I choose to nourish myself with praise and approval. I know I am on the way to becoming consistently loving. I praise myself for big and little things."
 

Word of the Day: objurgation (n):

1. a harsh rebuke

Affirmation: “Today I will... begin to take healthy risks. I will ask for assistance in letting go of my fear of failure . . . and success. I will ask for help in fully living my life so that I can start experiencing all the wonderful parts of my journey.” - Melody Beattie

Word of the Day: ab ovo (adv):

1. from the beginning

The Visions of Daquqi (1)

Husam, tell about the visions of Daquqi,
who said, I have traveled east and west
not knowing which way I was going,
following the moon, lost inside God.

Someone asked, Why do you go barefooted
over the stones and thorns.

What, he answered. What.

A bewildered lover does not walk on feet.
He or she walks on love. There are no “long”
or “short” trips for those. No time.

The body learned from spirit how to travel.
A saint’s body moves in the unconditioned way,
though it seems to be in conditionedness.

Daquqi said, One day I was going along

looking to see in people the shining of the Friend.
I came to the shore at twilight and saw
seven candles.  I hurried along the beach
toward them. I was amazed. My amazement was amazed.
Waves of bewilderment broke over my head.

The Vision of Daquqi (2)

What are those candles that no one seems to see?
In the presence of such lights
people were looking for lamps to buy.

Then the seven became one,
in the middle of the sky’s rim.
Then that fanned out to seven again.

There were connections between the candles
that cannot be said. I saw, but I cannot say.
They became seven men and then seven trees,
so dense with leaves and fruit no limbs were visible.

Flashes of light
spurted from each fruit like juice.

And most marvelous of all was that hundreds 

of thousands of people were passing beside the trees, 
risking their lives, sacrificing everything,
to find some scrap of shade. No one saw
the trees with their tremendous shade.

_____


I did a "Morning Meditation and Music" today by Jonathan Lehmann on my Insight Timer app (if you aren't familiar with Insight Timer, I highly recommend it. It is an app that gives you free access to thousands of free guided meditations of all lengths, styles, etc. I love it and use it quite regularly). The meditation reminded me of my silent meditation that I did on Monday.

Language and words are very important to me. They are somewhat of a passion, really. I love learning new words and languages and getting the "right word" for a situation or as a way to express myself exactly gives me something of a drunken delight (as do well "played"  similes and alliterations, but that is another story).

Each year since 2015, I've been picking a word that I want to embrace and embody for that year. It is something that I admire in my role models, something that I wish to invite more into in my life. It serves as a guiding and grounding theme for my life in that year. In 2015, that word was "Resilience." In 2016, it was "Brave." This year, that word is "Love."

Lying there in my meditation, I came up with my words for the next two years (sorry, no spoilers). But then I realized that I was falling into a trap that I quite often fall into: the trap of not being present. To the trap of living and thinking and being so utterly in the future that I am a ghost in the present, going through the motions of life without being appreciative or even aware. I realized that for all my planning ahead, I am missing out on the opportunities to embody LOVE now.

Thus far this year, I could be doing a much better job. So I came up with way in which I want to infuse the love - and the awareness and presence - back in my life. Handily, they both involve vulnerability: the vulnerability to show up and be fully there, either with oneself or with someone else. So here are some goals I've set for the next week (and longer, if they go well):

1. Each day, I will express my love to at least one person in words (including speaking, text, email, a card, etc.).

2. Each day, I will express my love to at least one person in actions.

3. Whenever my desire to express love bubbles up, I will heed it rather than trying to neutralize or dilute it. I will cast my past or imagined future hurts aside; I will pay no heed to fear or awkwardness or doubt or any other diversions; I will set aside the mind games and cease to dole out my love in measured doses.

I firmly believe that my true nature - that all of our true natures - is love. I must - we must - allow our streams of love that we have let freeze up thaw again so that they may pulse vibrantly and flow freely through us. Such is the fuel of a society on fire.

What has your experience with love and withholding been?

How does "future tripping" play out in your life?

What is your relationship with words?

What traits or qualities are you wanting to invite more of in your life?