When We Want to
Pretend
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first
we practice to deceive.” – Walter Scott
Once upon a time, an
old and childless king nearing the end of his days began to look for an heir.
He gathered all the children from his kingdom and invited them to the castle
one afternoon.
Upon their arrival,
the king gave each child a single seed and charged them with the task of
planting, watering, and taking good care of their seeds. He asked them all to
return to the castle in exactly one year where the child with the most
beautiful plant would be crowned the next king or queen.
One of these
children, a girl named Sage, carefully planted her seed in a put full of
nutrient-rich soul, made sure that it was well-watered, and given adequate
sunshine. She cared for her seed every day for week after week and month after
month. At school, the other children bragged about the beautiful, lush plants
that had grown from their seeds. Yet, no plant sprouted from Sage’s pot.
After a year had
passed, the children congregated once again in the palace, anxiously awaiting
the king’s decision. Dispirited and ashamed, Sage stood in the back of the room
with her pot staring longingly at the other children who held verdant, exotic
plants.
The king entered the
room and looked surprised to see all of the beautiful plants in the room. He
walked up and down the rows of children nodding and not saying much until he
finally came to Sage at the very end.
“What is your name,
child?” asked the king.
“Sage,” Sage replied
meekly.
“Where is your
plant, Sage?” the king asked gently.
“Your highness, I
planted the seed you gave me and gave it plenty of water, sun, and love each
and every day for the past year. I tried my best, your highness, but I have
failed. I am sorry,” replied Sage.
The king turned to
face the crowd of children and their parents and announced in a booming voice,
“Behold, my people, your future queen, Sage! This girl is my successor!”
Befuddlement and
consternation swept over the crowd as the king went on to explain, “One year
ago, I gave each child a boiled seed that could not grow into a plant. Only
Sage had the integrity, humility, and honor to stand with us all in truth
today. Surely, she will lead our kingdom with these traits.”
Indeed, when we lead
with honesty and openness, we attract relationships and opportunities based
upon these elements and we invite those that we are in relationship with to
show up in kind.
· When you feel the urge to pretend to be bigger,
better, or anything that you are not, take a deep breath and pause.
· Ask yourself whether you want to cultivate a
relationship based upon deceit or a relationship based upon honestly and
integrity with the person you are trying to pretend with. Ask yourself whether
you want to cultivate a relationship based upon deceit or a relationship based
upon honestly and integrity with yourself.
· Breathing into whatever fear or discomfort or
shame you might experience, let your values and your intuition guide you
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