I realized that the 21 (plus the bonus day) meditation ended yesterday and I didn't formally acknowledge it. I am currently still doing other guided and silent meditation on my own and that is going well. My mind still wanders - sometimes the entire session goes by before I realize that I am not present - but meditation practice is still helping and teaching me.
Today, I want to talk about gossip.
"How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.” - Marcus Aurelius
As human beings, we are drawn to connection. We have biological needs to be included, to be seen, to be validated, to feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. Gossip fills these needs by giving us a sense that we are a part of a community, that we are special for being in the "know", and that we aren't the outcasts and the judged ones being talked about.
Yet, when it comes down to it, isn't it absurd at best to think that tearing someone else down will somehow bring ourselves up? Indeed, gossip is a distraction, a thinly masked veil for insecurities, jealousies, fears, hurts, and disappointments. Often those that criticize or otherwise defame others reveal what they themselves lack.
In many ways, gossip is a sort of social cancer. Once it insidiously lures us in, it is difficult to contain. It perversely turns into something to be enjoyed and sought out. And before long, the lines between reality and falsehood and objectivity and judgment get blurred and it is impossible to determine when the information might have gone awry.
Even when people believe that they are merely stating facts about others, free of judgment, we all have the unique ability as human being to listen to (or even observe first hand) one story and understand another.
Gossip is only gossip when it is repeated. We each have the power to let it entirely alone, to let it perish before it takes root.
- How might your life change if you stopped engaging in gossip and verbal defamation? How might your time and conscience be freed? Let today be the day. Just for today, choose to not engage.
- Speak your truth if you feel called to do so. Before speaking or engaging in gossip, ask yourself these four questions, "Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? Does it improve upon the silence?"
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