March 22nd, 2017
Affirmation: No one person, place, thing, or thought has power over me.
Word of the Day: lief (adv):
Inside this new love, die.
Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now.
You are covered with thick cloud.
Slide out the side. Die,
and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign
that you have died.
Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.
The speechless full moon
comes out now.
____
Barriers That Don't Exist
There was once a marine biologist who wanted to conduct some psychology research with fish. During the first experiment, the marine biologist put a hungry shark into a large holding tank. He then proceeded to release several smaller bait fish in the tank along with the shark. As anticipated, the shark swam around the tank and quickly gobbled up the smaller fish.
For the following experiment, the marine biologist placed a sturdy piece of transparent fiberglass into the holding tank, dividing it into two separate partitions. He then put the shark back into the tank on one side of the fiberglass, and put some new bait fish on the other side.
Once more, the shark swiftly attempted to attack. This time, though, it collided into the fiberglass divider. After getting over the initial shock, the shark proceeded to try swimming towards the fish again and again, but each attempt was unsuccessful. During this time, the bait fish continued swimming unharmed on the other side of the partition. After about an hour, the shark finally gave up trying.
The conditions of this second experiment were repeated various times over the next several weeks. With each repetition, the shark got less and less aggressive and made fewer and fewer attempts at attacking the bait fish. Eventually, the shark grew tired of fruitlessly colliding against the fiberglass divider and abandoned its attempts altogether.
At this point, the marine biologist took out the fiberglass divider. Still, the shark made no attempt to attack. The marine biologist concluded that the shark had been trained to believe that a barrier existed between it and what it desired (the bait fish), so the bait fish swam safely, free from harm.
____
Hopefully you can anticipate where I am going with this story.
In a nutshell, after we experience obstacles, setbacks, and failures, we tend to feel discouraged, dejected, and disillusioned. We also tend to internalize and personalize our failures. That is to say, rather than thinking that we failed at something, we tend to think that we are the failures. In other words, rather than being events in our lives, our failures become our identities.
This leads us to emotionally throw in the towel, give up, and stop trying. Much like the shark, we believe that since we were unsuccessful in the past, we will always be unsuccessful. We continue to see barriers in our heads even when no real barriers exist or we allow the fear of possible barriers stop up from taking action to get from where we are to where we want to go.
I invite you to consider these questions:
- Are there areas in your life where you've internalized or personalized failure?
- How are these areas different from those areas where failures have not been internalized?
- In what areas of your life have you stopped trying because of past failed attempts?
- What obstacles or setbacks have discouraged you in the past? Will you likely encounter them again? How can you be sure? If you do, how might you address them?
- How do you feel about where you are now versus where you would like to go? How would you feel about being where you are a year from now? Ten years from now?
Affirmation: No one person, place, thing, or thought has power over me.
Word of the Day: lief (adv):
1. soon; gladly.
Quietness
Inside this new love, die.
Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now.
You are covered with thick cloud.
Slide out the side. Die,
and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign
that you have died.
Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.
The speechless full moon
comes out now.
____
Barriers That Don't Exist
There was once a marine biologist who wanted to conduct some psychology research with fish. During the first experiment, the marine biologist put a hungry shark into a large holding tank. He then proceeded to release several smaller bait fish in the tank along with the shark. As anticipated, the shark swam around the tank and quickly gobbled up the smaller fish.
For the following experiment, the marine biologist placed a sturdy piece of transparent fiberglass into the holding tank, dividing it into two separate partitions. He then put the shark back into the tank on one side of the fiberglass, and put some new bait fish on the other side.
Once more, the shark swiftly attempted to attack. This time, though, it collided into the fiberglass divider. After getting over the initial shock, the shark proceeded to try swimming towards the fish again and again, but each attempt was unsuccessful. During this time, the bait fish continued swimming unharmed on the other side of the partition. After about an hour, the shark finally gave up trying.
The conditions of this second experiment were repeated various times over the next several weeks. With each repetition, the shark got less and less aggressive and made fewer and fewer attempts at attacking the bait fish. Eventually, the shark grew tired of fruitlessly colliding against the fiberglass divider and abandoned its attempts altogether.
At this point, the marine biologist took out the fiberglass divider. Still, the shark made no attempt to attack. The marine biologist concluded that the shark had been trained to believe that a barrier existed between it and what it desired (the bait fish), so the bait fish swam safely, free from harm.
____
Hopefully you can anticipate where I am going with this story.
In a nutshell, after we experience obstacles, setbacks, and failures, we tend to feel discouraged, dejected, and disillusioned. We also tend to internalize and personalize our failures. That is to say, rather than thinking that we failed at something, we tend to think that we are the failures. In other words, rather than being events in our lives, our failures become our identities.
This leads us to emotionally throw in the towel, give up, and stop trying. Much like the shark, we believe that since we were unsuccessful in the past, we will always be unsuccessful. We continue to see barriers in our heads even when no real barriers exist or we allow the fear of possible barriers stop up from taking action to get from where we are to where we want to go.
I invite you to consider these questions:
- Are there areas in your life where you've internalized or personalized failure?
- How are these areas different from those areas where failures have not been internalized?
- In what areas of your life have you stopped trying because of past failed attempts?
- What obstacles or setbacks have discouraged you in the past? Will you likely encounter them again? How can you be sure? If you do, how might you address them?
- How do you feel about where you are now versus where you would like to go? How would you feel about being where you are a year from now? Ten years from now?
In addition to allowing external impersonal events (shark tank partition equivalents) define our identities, there is also the more frequent danger of taking the behaviors of mean/hateful people personally and defining one's identity as a victim/unlovable without understanding that just like the partition which is impermeable by nature, the behavior of such people is just as much a part of their nature and no reflection of oneself.
ReplyDeleteI never thought about it from that perspective - partitions can keep us blinded but they also need to be built sometimes!
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