March 1st, 2017

March 1st, 2017


Affirmation: I think thoughts that will produce happiness and peace in every situation.


Word of the Day: malfeasance (n):

1. Law. The performance by a public official of an act that is legally unjustified, harmful, or contrary to law; wrongdoing (used especially of an act in violation of a public trust).

I Have Five Things to Say

I have five things to say,
five fingers to give into your grace.

First, when I was apart from you,
this world did not exist, nor any other.
Second, whatever I was looking for was always you.
Third, why did I ever learn to count to three?
Fourth, my cornfield is burning!
Fifth, this finger stands for Rabia, and this
is for someone else. Is there a difference?

Are these words or tears?
Is weeping speech? What shall I do, my love?
So he speaks, and everyone around
begins to cry with him, laughing crazily,
moaning in the spreading union of lover and beloved.

This is the true religion. All others
are thrown-away bandages beside it.
This is the sema of slavery and mastery
dancing together. This is not-being.

I know these dancers. Day and night
I sing their songs in this phenomenal cage.


____


Expertise

It's time for one of my (in?)famous word posts again.

One of my yoga teachers recently shared with me that the word "expert" comes from the Latin experior/ experiri/ expertus, meaning "to try."

In its original sense, then, it does not mean "to understand everything and always be the one who knows most or best."

I was contemplating this conception of expertise as I reflected upon my own insecurities and struggles with feeling "not ____ enough" and inadequate. Like all of us do to vary degrees, I harbor certain "stories" that have been collected and reinforced throughout the years deep within my psyche. One of these stories is my incompetent/ not good enough/ failure story. It feeds in perfectly to my unproductive/ lazy/ worthless story and fit like a glove with my impostor/ fraud story.

In talking with different friends, I realized that I am not alone in feeling this way. And it seems that "knowing better" doesn't always help. At times like these, I find that it is better not to wrestle with the stories, because doing so only leads to more struggle.

What can help, however, is remembering that we are not alone in our self-judgments and rebukes. And it is important to remind ourselves of the ways in which we are competent, effective, and enough in our lives.

In the context of this post, I want to remind each and every one of you that being an expert does not mean knowing all and being all. That sort of perfection doesn't exist, and if it did, it would be alienating, intimidating, and honestly quite creepy.

As long as you try, you are becoming an expert. You are becoming an expert at living. You are becoming an expert on you. And you are taking risks and growing and evolving by your very participation and engagement in life. Being an expert is not a destination to arrive at, but a path to walk on and a process to journey and grow with.

Experts know failure and realize that it is part of the process. Experts know that they will face obstacles and setbacks and discouragement and embarrassment and discomfort. But what sets the expert apart is his or her willingness to keep trying.

In the words of Thomas Edison, "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to try just one more time."

So if you are feeling discouraged and defeated, broken and beaten down, like you have no answers and are lost without a direction or clue as to how to proceed: take heart. You are doing so much better than you know and you are so much closer to goodness than you can see.

Rest if you need to. Take time to take care of yourself. These things are all parts of showing up for life and showing up for yourself. Just keep trying and don't sell yourself short.

Own your expertise! (And consider giving up ownership of some of those stories, instead!).