April 6th, 2017
Affirmation: I honor my integrity and the integrity of others.
Word of the Day: chrysoberyl (n):
I want to be where
your bare foot walks,
because maybe before you step,
you will look at the ground.
I want that blessing.
____
Don't Be A Victim
Will you be passive or proactive in your life today? To live passively - that is, to live by default rather than by decision and direction - is to cede one's personal power. And the consequence of rejecting personal power (whether we are giving it away to our spouse, parent, boss, society, or refusing to acknowledge and use it ourselves) is always the same: victimization.
Put simply, a victim is someone who buys into the idea that the way he or she feels or is doing is related more by external circumstances than by the way he or she responds to those circumstances. On the other hand, a proactive individual is an active participant in life. Proactive people understand that they generally do not have control over what cards will be dealt to them and that their wellbeing isn't dependent upon those cards (i.e. circumstances). Rather, these individuals know that they way they respond to life's circumstances is what matters. In other words, proactive people put faith and action in their ability to respond - also known as responsibility.
The important question here isn't, "Am I being a victim or an empowered decision maker in my life?" You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who is strictly one or the other. Rather, the better question is, "In what ways am I being a victim in this situation? And in what ways am I being a decision maker?" Asking these parallel questions not only gives us insight into and information about our behavior and habits but also allows us to see the situation more holistically and objectively.
Being in charge of our lives (which, as a side note, doesn't mean being in control) means being able to gather sufficient information to make smart, effective choices and then making those choices and moving on with the next challenge. The information we use in this decision making process needs to come from both external and internal sources. This means that we must work to build and maintain our personal value systems. To act responsibly, then, is to put our personal value systems into action/ having our actions reflect our values.
As a final note, it is important to remember that in the majority of circumstances, it is impractical and ineffective to wait for certainty or ideal situations before making our decisions. Falling into the waiting game trap may feel comfortable and familiar, but it is simply a way to avoid risks and remain stuck and stagnant. In the same way that there is no learning without mistakes, there is simply no decision making without risk.
In the words of Thom Rutledge:
"Being a Decision-Maker is choosing to be involved in a life-long process of developing practical intelligence and good judgment, the kind of good sense we need to face life's daily pop-tests."
Reflection Questions (I invite you to actually write down your responses!):
- In what situations do you find yourself responding as a victim?
- In what situations do you find yourself responding proactively?
- In what ways in remaining a victim easier or more comfortable to you?
- What is the relationship between your proactive self and your victim self?
- What important decisions are you currently facing? How can you respond proactively in these decisions?
Affirmation: I honor my integrity and the integrity of others.
Word of the Day: chrysoberyl (n):
1. a mineral,
beryllium aluminate, BeAl2O4, occurring in green or yellow crystals, sometimes
used as a gem.
Blessing
I want to be where
your bare foot walks,
because maybe before you step,
you will look at the ground.
I want that blessing.
____
Don't Be A Victim
Will you be passive or proactive in your life today? To live passively - that is, to live by default rather than by decision and direction - is to cede one's personal power. And the consequence of rejecting personal power (whether we are giving it away to our spouse, parent, boss, society, or refusing to acknowledge and use it ourselves) is always the same: victimization.
Put simply, a victim is someone who buys into the idea that the way he or she feels or is doing is related more by external circumstances than by the way he or she responds to those circumstances. On the other hand, a proactive individual is an active participant in life. Proactive people understand that they generally do not have control over what cards will be dealt to them and that their wellbeing isn't dependent upon those cards (i.e. circumstances). Rather, these individuals know that they way they respond to life's circumstances is what matters. In other words, proactive people put faith and action in their ability to respond - also known as responsibility.
The important question here isn't, "Am I being a victim or an empowered decision maker in my life?" You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who is strictly one or the other. Rather, the better question is, "In what ways am I being a victim in this situation? And in what ways am I being a decision maker?" Asking these parallel questions not only gives us insight into and information about our behavior and habits but also allows us to see the situation more holistically and objectively.
Being in charge of our lives (which, as a side note, doesn't mean being in control) means being able to gather sufficient information to make smart, effective choices and then making those choices and moving on with the next challenge. The information we use in this decision making process needs to come from both external and internal sources. This means that we must work to build and maintain our personal value systems. To act responsibly, then, is to put our personal value systems into action/ having our actions reflect our values.
As a final note, it is important to remember that in the majority of circumstances, it is impractical and ineffective to wait for certainty or ideal situations before making our decisions. Falling into the waiting game trap may feel comfortable and familiar, but it is simply a way to avoid risks and remain stuck and stagnant. In the same way that there is no learning without mistakes, there is simply no decision making without risk.
In the words of Thom Rutledge:
"Being a Decision-Maker is choosing to be involved in a life-long process of developing practical intelligence and good judgment, the kind of good sense we need to face life's daily pop-tests."
Reflection Questions (I invite you to actually write down your responses!):
- In what situations do you find yourself responding as a victim?
- In what situations do you find yourself responding proactively?
- In what ways in remaining a victim easier or more comfortable to you?
- What is the relationship between your proactive self and your victim self?
- What important decisions are you currently facing? How can you respond proactively in these decisions?
Theme resonates from previous two posts as well. I find that fear, self-doubt and negative life experiences all feed into the victim mindset. The witnessing Self helps us rise above the drama and make self-nurturing choices far removed from the relentless misery of victimhood.
ReplyDeleteThe key is being able to access that witnessing Self when fear, overwhelm, etc. all but take over our brains.
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