April 10th, 2017
Affirmation: I contribute to the happiness of others and myself.
Affirmation: I am in charge. I am responsible for the direction of my boat.
Word of the Day: cabochon (n):
Word of the Day: gimcrack (n):
____
On Motivation, Negative Motivation, and Recovery
Just as a car needs fuel in order to run, we need motivation if we plan to take responsibility for our lives and our selves. Motivation may be described as dissatisfaction with the status quo combined with a desire to change plus the belief that change is possible. Put another way, in order to have motivation about something you must both want it (desire) and believe that it is possible (hope). In mathematical terms:
In his groundbreaking book Awaken the Giant Within, author and businessman Tony Robbins notes that human beings are like all other animals in that we are motivated in just two ways:
1. Efforts to avoid pain
2. Efforts to seek pleasure
For sustained self-responsibility, we must become adept at distinguishing and benefiting from both types of motivation and understand how they work together in creating change.
When we are motivated by the first kind of motivation - that is, our efforts and desire to avoid discomfort or pain - we are being driven by a negative. In other words, are focus is aimed at not experiencing something. In these situations, we do not concern ourselves with what the alternative is, only that there is an alternative to our pain. In many ways, this experience describes living by default rather than decisiveness. We are constantly on the defensive, often unsure about what it is we want to experience and concerned only with getting away from and getting rid of the pain from which we are retreating.
It is important to remember that negative motivation is not a unilaterally bad thing. Indeed, it can be useful and even necessary and helpful in our lives. People who are motivated to change in order to avoid previously experienced or potentially negative consequences are motivated by negative motivation and this can be a good thing. For example, an addict might begin the process of recovery in order to save his marriage or in order to keep her job.
Whether we are diagnosed "addicts" or not, we can all benefit from going through some type of "recovery" processes that is relevant to us. I like to think of "recovery" as having two separate applications:
1. Recovering from whatever is toxic in our lives (this must come first, in order to be in the position to be able to do the next step).
2. Recovering (that is, reconnecting, regaining, or rediscovering) who we really are.
As an example, if you are overly self-effacing, you must first learn to separate from (and disagree with) the negative messages and subsequently reconnect yourself to a positive self-image.
- What are some of the toxic things in your life that you are already recovered from?
- What are some of the toxic elements in your life that are still challenging to let go of? Or does it feel more like they have a grip on you?
- When you have recovered from and recovered to something in the past, did it feel more like you were letting something negative go or more like you were being pulled forward by something positive?
Affirmation: I contribute to the happiness of others and myself.
Affirmation: I am in charge. I am responsible for the direction of my boat.
Word of the Day: cabochon (n):
1. a gem or bead cut in convex form and highly polished but not faceted; also : this style of cutting
Word of the Day: gimcrack (n):
1. a showy object of little use or value: gewgaw.
Childsplay
There is no one with intelligence
in our town except that man over there
playing with the children.
He has keen, fiery insight
and vast dignity like the nightsky,
but he conceals it in childsplay.
You miss the garden,
because you want a small fig from a random tree.
You do not meet the beautiful woman.
You are joking with an old crone.
It makes me cry how she detains you,
stinking-mouthed with a hundred talons,
putting her head over the roof edge to call down,
tasteless fig, fold over fold, empty
as a dry-rotten garlic.
She has you tight by the belt,
even though there is no flower
and no milk inside her body.
Death will open your eyes
to what her face is: leather spine
of a black lizard. No more advice.
Let yourself be silently drawn
by the stronger pull of what you really love.
There is no one with intelligence
in our town except that man over there
playing with the children.
He has keen, fiery insight
and vast dignity like the nightsky,
but he conceals it in childsplay.
Let Yourself Be Drawn
You miss the garden,
because you want a small fig from a random tree.
You do not meet the beautiful woman.
You are joking with an old crone.
It makes me cry how she detains you,
stinking-mouthed with a hundred talons,
putting her head over the roof edge to call down,
tasteless fig, fold over fold, empty
as a dry-rotten garlic.
She has you tight by the belt,
even though there is no flower
and no milk inside her body.
Death will open your eyes
to what her face is: leather spine
of a black lizard. No more advice.
Let yourself be silently drawn
by the stronger pull of what you really love.
____
On Motivation, Negative Motivation, and Recovery
Just as a car needs fuel in order to run, we need motivation if we plan to take responsibility for our lives and our selves. Motivation may be described as dissatisfaction with the status quo combined with a desire to change plus the belief that change is possible. Put another way, in order to have motivation about something you must both want it (desire) and believe that it is possible (hope). In mathematical terms:
Desire + Hope = Motivation
In his groundbreaking book Awaken the Giant Within, author and businessman Tony Robbins notes that human beings are like all other animals in that we are motivated in just two ways:
1. Efforts to avoid pain
2. Efforts to seek pleasure
For sustained self-responsibility, we must become adept at distinguishing and benefiting from both types of motivation and understand how they work together in creating change.
When we are motivated by the first kind of motivation - that is, our efforts and desire to avoid discomfort or pain - we are being driven by a negative. In other words, are focus is aimed at not experiencing something. In these situations, we do not concern ourselves with what the alternative is, only that there is an alternative to our pain. In many ways, this experience describes living by default rather than decisiveness. We are constantly on the defensive, often unsure about what it is we want to experience and concerned only with getting away from and getting rid of the pain from which we are retreating.
It is important to remember that negative motivation is not a unilaterally bad thing. Indeed, it can be useful and even necessary and helpful in our lives. People who are motivated to change in order to avoid previously experienced or potentially negative consequences are motivated by negative motivation and this can be a good thing. For example, an addict might begin the process of recovery in order to save his marriage or in order to keep her job.
Whether we are diagnosed "addicts" or not, we can all benefit from going through some type of "recovery" processes that is relevant to us. I like to think of "recovery" as having two separate applications:
1. Recovering from whatever is toxic in our lives (this must come first, in order to be in the position to be able to do the next step).
2. Recovering (that is, reconnecting, regaining, or rediscovering) who we really are.
As an example, if you are overly self-effacing, you must first learn to separate from (and disagree with) the negative messages and subsequently reconnect yourself to a positive self-image.
- What are some of the toxic things in your life that you are already recovered from?
- What are some of the toxic elements in your life that are still challenging to let go of? Or does it feel more like they have a grip on you?
- When you have recovered from and recovered to something in the past, did it feel more like you were letting something negative go or more like you were being pulled forward by something positive?
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