April 24th, 2017

April 24th, 2017


Affirmation: I am open to positive changes in my life today.

I trust people to be there for me.


Word of the Day: grimalkin (n):

1. a domestic cat; especially: an old female cat.

A Small Green Island

There is a small green island

where one white cow lives alone, a meadow of an island.

The cow grazes till nightfull, full and fat,

but during the night she panics

and grows thin as a single hair.

What shall I eat tomorrow? There is nothing left.

By dawn the grass has grown up again, waist-high.

The cow starts eating and by dark

the meadow is clipped short.

She is full of strength and energy, but she panics

in the dark as before and grows abnormally thin overnight.

The cow does this over and over,

and this is all she does.

She never thinks, This meadow has never failed

to grow back. Why should I be afraid every night

that it won't. The cow is the bodily soul.

The island field is this world where that grows

lean with fear and fat with blessing, lean and fat.

White cow, don't make yourself miserable

with what's to come, or not to come.

_____

Errant Power

Power is a charged word (no pun intended). We live in a world that understands power in a variety of different ways. Consequently, each of us grows up with our own interpretation of power that is erroneous (at best) and destructive (at worst). In order for to become fully responsible, we must go through considerable revisions to our understanding of power. We begin making those revisions by first recognizing the numerous misuses and abuses of power they we have personally encountered or practiced.

Here are two main categories of managing power that can be counterproductive, harmful, or downright destructive. Reflect on each of these in terms of both yourself as well as the people who have been influential in your life (even if they are no longer a part of your life and even if they were only a part of your life for a short period). Then consider the following question:

How do these categories of misused power apply to me and the people in my life?

1. The Power to Dominate

This term describes the overt misuse of personal power against or over others. A person who uses the power to dominate defines power in reference to the lack of other people’s power. In other words, the thinking might be described as, “It’s not enough that I win, but you must also lose.”

This can be practiced in a variety of strategies and styles including (but certainly not limited to) intimidation, undermining, and withholding. This may look like:

a) Intimidation:

A boss that holds his employees’ jobs over their heads as a means of maintaining control.

b) Undermining:

A father who responds to his child’s accomplishments with, “That great, but you could have done even more/ better.”

c) Withholding:

A mother who uses silence and aloofness as a way to punish people in her family to exert her control.

2. The Power to Manipulate

This term describes the covert misuse of personal power to gain control of other by indirect means. A person who uses the power to manipulate often approaches the world from a “one down” position and may be unaware (at least consciously) if his or her misuse of power.

Examples of this type of behavior include feigning powerlessness or incompetence, fostering the dependence of others, and imposing guilt on others. Here is what misusing the power to manipulate might look like in practice:

a) Feigning incompetence:

A woman who avoids taking on responsibilities under the guise of being complementary, saying things like, “But you are so much better at it than I am.”

b) Fostering dependence:

A father who continues to be responsible for his son’s finances will into his young adulthood.

c) Imposing guilt:

A person who uses his or her facial expressions (such as sulking or sighing) and body language to express perpetual disappointment.

____

Ultimately, all of these errant misuses of power mistake using power with being in control. It is important to remember that owning our personal power actually means that we are not in control (and we understand that!). If we seek to be responsible and in charge of our power, we must accept full responsibility for our decisions and be aware of all that we cannot and do not control.

- What does personal power mean to you? How is it expressed (what does it look like in objective terms)?

- What are ways in which you have attempted to express your power through manipulation or domination?

- In what ways have you equated power with control?

- How do you want to use your power in your life? What things do you need to accept that you do not have control over?