June 14th, 2017

June 14th, 2017


Affirmation:  I keep my word to myself.

I actively participate in the manifestation of my dreams.


Word of the Day: peregrinate (v):
1. to travel especially on foot : walk
2. to walk or travel over : traverse

Father Reason

The universe is a form of divine law,
your reasonable father.

When you feel ungrateful to him,
the shapes of the world seem mean and ugly.

Make peace with that father, the elegant patterning,
and every experience will fill with immediacy.

Because I love this, I am never bored.
Beauty constantly wells up like the noise of springwater
in my ear. Tree limbs rise and fall like ecstatic arms.
Leaf sounds talk together like poets
making fresh metaphors.

The green felt cover slips;
we get a flash of the mirror underneath.

The conventional opinion of this poetry
is that it shows great optimism for the future.
But Father Reason says, No need to announce the future.

This now is it. Your deepest need and desire
is satisfied by this moment's energy
here in your hand.


The Inner Workings

The inner working of a human being
is a jungle. Sometimes wolves
dominate. Sometimes wild hogs.

Be wary when you breathe.
At one moment gentle, generous qualities,
like Joseph's, pass from one nature
to another. The next moment
vicious qualities move in hidden ways.

In every instant new species rises
in the chest -- now a demon, now an angel,
now a wild animal, now a human friend.

There are also those in this amazing jungle
who can absorb you into their own surrender.

If you have to stalk and steal something,
steal from them.

_____

The Not So Golden Rule

I am willing to wager that you've heard of the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In other words, treat others the way you would wish to be treated. This "ethic of reciprocity" has been expressed in many moral maxims and religious/spiritual traditions and has even become a part of many formal educational systems.

As with many commonly accepted directives and norms, I hadn't put much thought into Golden Rule until fairly recently. In contemplating its significance, however, I was somewhat surprised to realize that I do not agree with the Golden Rule at all!

Though I believe that there is an element of common humanity in each of us, we are also all unique individuals with different needs and desires and circumstances. What would be best for me to do unto someone else may not at all be what is in my best interest. For instance, it might be best for a parent to change their baby's diaper and burp them after meals. But having or expecting the baby to do the same for her parents is clearly absurd! This is clearly a rather absurd example intended to illustrate the point, but there are also numerous subtle examples of this in practice. Can you think of a time when you did something for somebody that you would have loved or appreciated only to have the other person  respond negatively? Their reaction might have been due to the fact that you projected what might have been best for you in a given situation onto someone else who may have felt differently.

Rejecting the Golden Rule invites curiosity as well as empathy. In order to figure out what someone would have done unto themselves, we must get curious and step outside of our frame of reference and into their shoes. Evaluating and trying to understand and even feel things from an another person's perspective is at the heart of empathy. It allows us to get outside of our heads and connect with somebody from a heart to heart rather than a head to head orientation.

Given that the Golden Rule isn't the best way of navigating the world, I assumed that the opposite of the Rule would presumably be true: do not do unto other as you would not have them do unto you. I was wrong.

Yet again, upon further consideration, I realized that the "anti-Golden Rule" is equally misguided. Again, examples of this in practice abound, but I will share just one example to illustrate the point: Just because you would not appreciate going out to eat sushi (or the color orange or being called "honey" or flying on airplanes, etc., etc.) does not mean that someone else would not. Can you think of instances in your life where you've wrongly assumed that other people preferences and sensitivities?

In short, both the Golden Rule and the anti-Golden Rule are ways in which we project ourselves onto others. Doing so compromises connection and creativity and keeps us naive to others' experiences. On the other hand, interacting with others from a place of curiosity and empathy allows us to have a deeper understanding and build better relationships - both with others and ourselves.

- What are some common truisms/ maxims/ norms that you take for granted?

- In what ways might accepting these things as fact be impacting you?