May 17th, 2017

May 17th, 2017


Affirmation:  I honor my mind, my body, and my spirit every day.


Word of the Day: hypostatize (v):

1. to treat or regard (a concept, idea, etc.) as a distinct substance or reality.

holus-bolus (n):

1. all at once; altogether.

The Uses of Fear

A donkey turning a millstone is not trying

to press oil from sesame seed. He is fleeing the blow

that was just struck and hoping to avoid the next.

For the same reason, the ox takes a load

of baggage wherever you want him to.

Shopkeepers work for themselves,

not for the flow of communal exchange.

We look to ease our pain, and this keeps civilization

moving along. Fear is the architect here.

Fear keeps us working near the ark.

Some human beings are safe a havens.

Be companions with them. Others may seem to be friends,

but they are really consuming your esssence

like donkeys lapping sherbert. Detrach from them,

and feel your flexibility returning.

The inner moisture that lets you bend

into a basket handle is a quickening inside

that no one is ever afraid of.

Sometimes though, it is fear, a contracting,

that brings you into the presence.

_____

Leadership, Part II

I'd like to share some additional insights about leadership that I've learned from my yoga teacher (from Yoga Teacher Training last summer).

An important role of a leader (which I would presume applies to parents, as well), is to set a positive example for those around them. At the same time, leaders must also understand that appearing “perfect” is impossible and toxic to both themselves and others (not to mention frustrating!).

Effective and transformation leaders do not get everything right and they do not appear or pretend to, either. Crucially, however, they do not attempt to dismiss, belittle, or argue for their weaknesses. Leaders actively and creatively strive to identify their blind spots and biases. And they accept full responsibility for the consequences and outcomes of their blind spots.

Leaders are not without fear, but they are willing even in the face of fear, to be blind, make mistakes, and be vulnerable. Leaders are willing to hold themselves and others accountable for standards that are not always met with exquisite ease. Leaders are driven in this way because they are motivated by a purpose and mission that is larger than the desire to conform or to prove something to somebody.

In evaluating your leadership decisions, it can be helpful to ask yourself:

"Do I defend myself even when I know I have messed up?" (And, similarly, what situations trigger defensiveness in me?)

"Is looking good a strong motivation for me here?"

"Do I feel justified shirking my agreements because I perceive someone else shirking theirs?"

Asking ourselves these things is a great way to create chinks in the ego's armor. The ego (which I will write more about in subsequent posts) is not a bad thing in and of itself. However, we can all be better leaders – in our families, business, or other areas of our lives – when we get underneath our ego's shell and figure out what is really going on underneath the surface.

We have all made mistakes in our past. While our life experiences contain a treasure trove of wisdom worth sharing and applying, they also contain a disarray of assumptions, projections, misconceptions, ideas, and instincts that do not necessarily function in the ways we believe they do. It is much like scar tissue: randomly layered material designed to efficiently patch up the inevitable "WTF" of living.

Though it is common and sometimes instinctive to think of our scars as the truth of our past, approaching our history from this perspective can help us tap into the power and potentiality of thinking and speaking of our past is a way that makes it more like a treasure and less like damage.